I need to start out with a small disclaimer and that would be that I don’t hate unions as a rule. I do however have a bit of a problem with professional organizers and their tactics. That being said let me tell my tale.
I was innocently waiting in line this morning for a much needed pop and listening to the guys in front of me talking about how shitty all of the non union trades are in Chicago. The head blowhard was droning on and on about the whole town being unionized and anyone whose not will be put out of business. Now I understand these guys are getting a bit desperate so they probably have to keep saying stuff like that out-loud so they believe it themselves but a show was being put on for the audience in the McDonald’s line. And then one of the trio whose back was to me turned around.
I knew I was in trouble when his eyes went wide. You see I used to run one of the largest nonunion shops in this market and I had personally thrown this gentleman out of my business more than once. I kept the poker face of paralysis and turned my head and gaze elsewhere. I was concentrating on ignoring them so I didn’t catch the complete introduction but it was something like “this guy is one of the biggest problems..” In an effort to diffuse the situation before things went south I mumbled something about working on my physical presence in the world but it sailed over their heads. I took the second that they looked at each other to tuck my badge behind my jacket so they couldnt see my new employer and then I got ready to chat.
I should also quickly explain that this was before the show opened and there were easily 200 people in line for the McCormick Place McD’s and I think it just opened so the thing wasn’t moving much. The next line was something about me taking advantage of my employees so I countered with them taking more money home than the highest paid union plumber. They threw out pension and benefits I countered with their own salaries and the group of guys paid to babysit the twelve foot inflatable rat. We went back and forth until I told them that their time had passed in this country and maybe it was time to go unionize the third world. I got nothing in response so I pushed on with a little hunk on China, working conditions, child labor, etc. I might have said something about being scared because that was real live old school help someone in trouble justice based Union organization.
They threw back something about the way we treated our people (remember I don’t work there anymore so anything said was a fabrication) so I let them know we just installed a video game and TV lounge for the guys and our record sales meant that we all got a double company match on our 401Ks. That wasn’t so smart because then I realized why the organizers we loudly pontificating in the first place. We were surrounded by a bus load of kids from a local trade school and I stepped dead center in a propaganda speech. Now these kids were all looking at me to find out where the video game lounge company was and how they could get a job when they graduated.
It ended with me being told to fuck off and something about a scab blah blah blah but I was too busy plotting my exit. I might have finished with Comrades but who was keeping track? I spent the next five ours dodging to the back of the booth every time someone walked by wearing the school logo. Sometimes I’ve got to be less ME.