snip

I realize that I can be a bit of a stubborn ass. No debate from yours truly on that point but this little event is not due to a normal obstinate over-correction. We (I use the term we as if anyone else in my house gave a crap about the television service) have officially become cord cutters. There were a butt-ton of reasons that all boiled down to us paying for something we barely used and were not happy with. So I was all prepared to purchase and install an over the air antenna (known in the community as OTA) when I stumbled across a deal that got one tuned and installed for just a little more money. (This would probably be frowned upon by my fellow frugal cable cutters but tough shit, it’s my cash) This nice gentleman is mid assembly.

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Something that undoubtedly would have cause me angst he finished in record time.

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The wife is going to have to get used to the aerial on the roof but the ugly dish will go away tomorrow so its more of a substitution when you think about iit. Plus, as you can see by my expert photography, it lines up perfectly with my neighbors lightning catchers making us a cohesive unit at least by outward appearance. I’ll write more on this later but its football season and I need to make sure the deck is completely clear before heading to the game.

 

I thought I had more

First up I had a disturbing conversation at dinner this evening about a subject never before discussed by yours truly. I was eating alone at the bar and there were a couple other business types doing the same. I got pretty locked in to reading on my phone so I wasn’t paying full attention to my surroundings but somehow I got the feeling that I had been asked a question. Thinking it was the bartender checking in I looked up and the dude to my right asked what I thought. About what? I asked and his answer err question threw me for a loop. So confused was I that I didn’t really comprehend. He said something about grooming and male plastic surgery.

Since this was no one I knew I tried to punch out of the conversation gracefully by offering no opinion. He pressed and it turned out that the dude to his right was the other participant. I said I really had no opinion on male grooming much like the wild grizzly bear I don’t spend much time contemplating my exterior but if I did I would probably punch myself in the face. And as for dude cosmetic surgery I think it should be reserved for birth defects, car accidents, and gender do-overs. Most fellas that go under he knife develop a bit of a Lady Face from my experience.

He countered by asking about my beard and pointing out that I groomed my face. Good point, I grow this thing to avoid the twin blue shadows on either side of my mouth by early afternoon. He was right, I’ve had facial hair since college because I’m not a huge fan of shaving so a touchup in the afternoon is out of the question. It’s worse now because I read that the hipster beard is going away only to be replaced by short cropped styles like the one I usually wear. This annoyed me as I am on the cutting edge of little if I can help it so I’m growing mine out. It is currently in a stage I like to call early homeless. I’ll post a picture once it gets good and funny looking.

I had to punch out of the conversation by saying the ever polite “I’m through talking to you now.”

I am a tired individual. These week long trainings kick the life out of me and I will be happy to head home tomorrow night. I’m a little over an hour from the lake house and have to drive right past on my way home. I wonder how creeped out the renter’s would be if I stopped by and swam for a little bit before driving the rest of the way home. Something to consider.

 

no?!

I had what some would describe as “one of those days.” Nothing specific or severe just some hours of existence to be endured. When I got back to this half polished turd of a hotel I decided to head on down to the fitness center. The single treadmill with a TV on top was indeed in the dead nuts center of the mirrored room so false advertising it was not. I walked at a brisk pace for a while to clear my head if clearing you head means unleashing a stampede in your skull.

I entered the elevator with a gentleman who seemed to have ants in his pants if I might quote something often said about me in my youth. Once the painfully slow door closed on us I discovered that my diagnosis was incorrect. This man was in fact attempting to hold back the birth of hot trouble. I must have missed the audible warning due to the hooves in my head and my more rapid and deeper than normal breathing. Due to the afore mentioned air intake I had a lung full of the weaponized oxygen before I smelled or more accurately tasted it.

A choking spasm was cut short as I fought my natural urge to strike this obvious Nazi as hard as I could. When he tried a smirk of contrition I warned him that by the rules of the Geneva Convention I could technically punch him in the head or gut. his choice. I went on to say I would settle for a single shoulder shot where I would attempt to permanently disable his arm. He scurried off of the elechamber with hid ass clenched tight in a decent penguin impersonation.

I am typing to you now fresh from a required shower where I waterboarded myself to get enough cleansing h2o into my sinus cavity. I will need to leave a note for the maid tomorrow attempting to explain the broken ironing board in the tub but extreme measures were called for and I answered. I might be asleep by seven.