But What
Today is officially But Penalty Day. Everyone that brings me a But today is going to pay some kind of price. I’m not sure exactly how this is going to work yet but believe me when I say that there will be some form of toll involved. But Penalty Day is brought to you buy the good people at Tom, I didn’t want to say anything… But… BUT WHAT?! If you didn’t want to say anything go with your gut on this one because what follows the but NEVER makes me happy.
It’s always some he said she said bullshit that you were too embarrassed to just blurt out without some kind of disclaimer. If someone told you something in confidence or you learned it third hand and can’t really vouch for its accuracy then keep it to yourself.
Like you are supposed to.
Stop being a douche and whispering behind everyone’s backs.
Wait, brilliant, I just figured out the first penalty of the day. All that is said behind shall be repeated in front. So the scumbag that was ratting out a few of his coworkers for doing something that he knows pisses me off in an attempt to prove his own innocence will be asked to repeat his story and then he will get “Let’s go talk to them about this right now.” Whether he follows me or not I’m letting the rest of the inmates know there is a rat amongst them. I fully expect him to be shanked in the yard later this afternoon.
Just so you know this isn’t a Captain Queeg strawberries type thing. (for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about watch The Caine Mutiny immediately) What these fine fellows are doing is just a pubic hair shy of stealing and they all know it. So when some more evidence showed up pointing to this behavior over the weekend the chicken in the bunch figured he would come in and secure his job. Must have had some form of stealers remorse. It’s going to be a good day today.
And back to my problem with the talking shit behind the back thing; I am just as guilty as anyone else. I pride myself on the fact that anything I say behind peoples backs I would say to their face but that proves nothing more than what a complete asshole I am. So for Lent this year I will be giving up talking shit about people behind their backs. The only person that will hear me do any of that until Easter will be Liza because I’m not inviting every asshole that crosses my path into our bedroom at night while we debrief about each day. And I will unavoidably be talking shit here but this is a mental health issue and I’m sure there is some form of dispensation available. I also never use names unless the person knows about it or doesn’t care so I’m not counting this crap.
No need to wait until next Wednesday, I’m starting today. Wish me luck, I have a new holiday to enact.
January 28, 2008 at 10:12 am
Your post reminded me of a quote from a great man:
“Everyone I know has a big “But…? C’mon, Simone, let’s talk about *your* big “But”.”
It should be BUTT Penalty Day… I’m calling Hallmark right now to have some cards made.
January 28, 2008 at 1:09 pm
And here I was thinking I should give up something like coffee for Lent! You’ve given me inspiration Tom! I’ll have to delve into my deeper self and come up with something better than coffee to give up.