stupidtom.com

My beloved Airborne has come under attack lately from a bunch of litigious obviously sickly haters. I love that our country has broken down to the point that we have nothing better to do than to sue the people who are trying to get ahead or even make the world a better place. Now before I climb aboard my soap box and sound like I should be screaming on a corner somewhere I’m just irritated that people are so stupid. I’m not studied up on the details of the lawsuit but I’m sure that some asshole had a full blown cold and probably borrowed an Airborne tablet from someone else. It didn’t immediately cure his cold so he decided to cash in. Then a bunch of other assholes smelled potential money so they decided that the product not working meant that they should get paid as well.What ever happened to trying something and if it didn’t work just never buying it again? Oh, wait, that is a pile of shite as well because Airborne has a hundred percent satisfaction guarantee so you could get all of your money back just by writing a letter. (That’s why I think the first asshole must have borrowed his tablet.) This makes me crazy because they never really get anything out of these giant wastes of time and energy but a couple of bucks. Literally a couple of dollars. I’ve never seen one of these class action things deal any serious cash and this all boils down to fans like myself paying more for a product that I don’t expect to cure the common cold just to help keep me from picking up the thousand different illnesses that surround me every day.

Laugh if you will and it is probably all in my head but I haven’t been sick (save a couple of bouts with overindulgence) in the last two years and I always have airborne close by.

I walk around with a personal force field like a character in a science fiction movie. If it is in my head it’s stuck there and I use it to keep all forms of plague at bay. So laugh it up Class Assholes I hope you are all the first group of people to be wiped out by the common cold and as your lying there choking on on your excessive mucus don’t even think the word airborne.