An open letter to my Facebook “friends”
Hey Facebook friends I nee to let you know how much I hate all of the political nonsense you insist on posting every single day. So why not write something on the actual site addressing this issue you might be thinking… Because that’s not what Facebook is for. FB is a way for me to lurk around peoples lives without having to experience any form of contact. I like to see whats going on for about fifteen minutes a day and lately that’s been stretching to almost a half our with all of this My Way is the Right Way crap. If I wanted to know how you were going to vote I would ask. Since I post nothing on that site you can safely assume that I don’t care. I do love that the most politically vocal are usually the ones who can’t post a single picture of themselves, anywhere.
I put up just as handful of shots early on as to establish a legitimate base of operations. There was a brief period a year or so ago when one of my cousins decided it was time for an embarrassing old picture war so I dropped a few more pics then but mostly I lurk. I want to ask the majority of people what in the hell has happened to them that they can’t post even on image depicting what they currently look like. Have they broken all of the mirrors in their homes as well? Seriously, your kids are great but I don’t know them. I want to see how YOU have aged. You get to see that I’m a big fat bald guy, how about the pictorial equivalent of a reach-around?
If you think your political views will sway anyone from behind your duck blind of kid pics your wrong. Put up a full body shot of you wearing a campaign button for everyone to see and then you will make some headway. While your at it maybe a shot of you worshiping whatever god you settled on in the place where it happens because that will make me uncomfortable as well. No more than the endless prattle about your children and their achievements but all of that is better than my daily affirmation pals. They are out to help me like sappy water torture. I believe its almost time for the Facebook and I to part company.
This will never show up on my FB because the same people I’m writing too would all “like” my post and typing that just gave me a douche chill. All of this negativity deserves at least one positive. I do get to see my extended family grow up where I normally would not so that is one in the plus column. I am writing this after waiting fifteen minutes for the kids pizza to finish cooking and only reading things that annoyed. I need some better hobbies.