that didnt take long

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The wheels came off of the whole one post one pic one tweet thing and there’s no good reason. I feel like my eleven year old. I just forgot. I’m still shooting for the pic and post thing but the tweets will have to show up when they surface. I am not a twitter guy. I use this thing on the iPad called Flipboard that lets me read the tweets I follow and Facebook like a magazine. Honestly that’s why I started the picaday thing because the people who only post words make for boring magazine reading. I already write in short bursts so I figured I would cater to another segment of my audience who cant tolerate more than a couple of sentences. Even the shitty pictures make me laugh like a couple days ago when I was bored sitting in traffic coming out of the city so I decided to take a phone picture of it. Great idea but apparently when your having a mild full body tremor you don’t really know its happening and the picture turned out like Michael J. Fox was riding shotgun taking the thing. We were at a dead calm stop and I sent the pic in without really looking at it. I am a safe driver.

You think those texting death safety commercials are bad imagine my poor kids shame talking into the camera. “my dad was taking pictures and posting them to his online diary.” Ouch, that one stung a little to type. And then there was the one that didn’t make it to air because we started moving.

This was supposed to be a shot of my hand holding my iPad just like the huge billboard but to take it I had to completely turn sideways and lean way over toward the window. Just as I was trying to get my big fat finger to touch the part of the glass that represents the button we started moving so the pad god dropped on the seat and I turned to face forward and drive like I was taught. The camera fired proving how spectacularly stupid I really am. By the way if you have wet age macular degeneration all of my pictures look crystal clear. I am a niche photographer.

 

Crapcakes

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Holy scientific shit storm. I think that my wife and our fifteen year old daughter vibrate at different molecular frequencies. It’s OK when I’m around to act as an insulator but remove me from the equation and bad harmonics build until things explode. The bot keeps sending me SOS texts from his bunker and I can only type back to remain quiet and hidden. Nothing is safe from a nuclear blast. I have to figure out how to get these two communicating when I leave town because from a distance I am useless.

It’s gotten so bad that last night I couldn’t sleep trying to figure out a fix. Sadly I’m not sure you can repair a hormone fueled mother daughter relationship nearing dead center of the teenage years. I am puzzled and perplexed. The lack of sleep plus the pressure of presenting doesn’t help but the only conclusion I could figure out won’t work. Separation isn’t an option as our shoebox of a house doesn’t allow for that. I almost made the fatal mistake of pointing out that an airstream in the back yard would make the perfect Honeycomb Hideout but that would be making it about ME and no good will come of that…

Plus it doesn’t help that I’m down here in the sun as they await a snowstorm at home. I won’t even be home until Saturday night after 10:00pm. Father slash (yes I realize that I just typed the word slash instead of /. I blame my current mental handicap) husband of the year award out already for 2012