First, traveling on a Saturday blows a donkey bareback. I am trying to remain upbeat and positive because it wouldn’t be good for the people I’ve been pumping up for three days about their shitty jobs and making the most of them if the saw me completely flip out. The gate agents throat started asking me to reach across the counter and squeeze but I resisted the urge. I’m not sure where the TSA holding facility is here in Ft Lauderdale but I do know that the drunk dude they took there a little while ago is probably still wound up and who needs that added aggravation.

The generic “mechanical” issue was mysteriously switched to “weather” which means they don’t have to give you anything if the flight cancels or you miss your connection. Instead of losing my entrails I demanded that my ticked be switched to standby on another carrier. So here I stand number three on a ten person wait list for a full flight. Best case I’m staring down the barrel of a middle seat flight holding on to the back of the seat in front of me for comfort. There is no good time to fly anymore.