complete and total link o rama

07/13/2007

stupidtom None , 4 Comments

Alecto linked the living shit out of me last night and I have to return the favor. (eight links in one sentence. my link whore hand is strong.) I have been skulking around her site for a while now reading without commenting and that was an injustice. I first stopped by because the site name drove me bat-shit as I wasn’t smart enough to figure it out without turning to my old friend the internet.

Alecto (Greek: ??????, “the implacable”) is one of the Erinyes in Greek mythology. According to Hesiod, she was the daughter of Gaea fertilized by the blood spilled from Uranus when Cronus castrated him. She is the sister of Tisiphone and Megaera.Alecto is the Erinye with the job of castigating the moral crimes (such as anger), especially if they are against other people. Her function is very similar to Nemesis, with the difference that the latter’s function is to castigate crimes against the gods.

Alecto appeared in Virgil‘s Aeneid, and also in Dante‘s Inferno as one of the three Erinyes.

Very cool except I’m never comfortable with the blood from your anus part.

And then of course you can always click on anyone in either of the blogrolls because I don’t link ‘em if I don’t like ‘em.

Blog On Bloggity Bloggers.

I do love me some search terms

05/10/2007

stupidtom None , 5 Comments

The WordPress stats page makes me laugh every day. This one was particularly strong.

search.jpg

good times

04/17/2007

stupidtom None , 4 Comments

A minor update from yesterday; I ran across Big Chief Crapped His Pants this morning and his stench didn’t announce his presence. I talked with some of the guys who worked with him and they were complaining about his bouquet as well so it wasn’t just me. I’ll give three guesses what the morning meeting was about and the first two don’t count. The working title was “Fifty Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Walk Around Smelling Like a Fresh Pile of Human Fecal Matter” but I had to make some changes as to address my specific audience. I settled on “Make Sure You Don’t Smell Like Shit.”

If you think I’m kidding you are sadly mistaken. I am even initiating a contest that involves personal hygiene in all areas of their employment. We walked around and looked in everyone’s truck from a customer’s perspective and I was reminded of the best story of last year.

One of my rocket scientists had to move his bowels while on a big job and rather than excuse himself to go pick up a part from a supply house (note to yourselves, if someone is working on your house and they need to go get a part, push them out the door. You DO NOT want them dropping a bomb in your house. Sorry, I’ll get back to the story.) and haul ass to the nearest public toilet. This genus decided he would just climb into the back of his truck and dump in an empty bucket. He forgot that he had been having trouble with his door latch so he was locked in the back of a van for two hours in the heat of summer with a bucket of his own boiling excrement. He freed himself by disassembling the door.

As he rolled out the back door dry heaving, soaked with sweat, and attempting to clear up his mild panic attack, the customer was standing on her lawn watching him. A customer service call to yours truly shortly ensued.

The individual in question no longer works at my facility.

stuffnthings

03/31/2007

stupidtom None , , 2 Comments

My head is spinning this morning because I completely pissed last night away and I have an assload of work to get done before my entire family gets back today. The first problem is that my house currently smells like an automotive paint booth. I had the upstairs tub refinished and like a moron I believed the guy when he told me that the smell would go away after a couple of hours. I am the idiot for not questioning that and I am paying for it by living in an Earl Scheib smelling house.

The animals are staggering around high as kites so I’d better open some windows even though it’s cracking me up. With my luck one of them would croak just before everyone got home. Nice Spring Break ending Dad.

So to delay the work even more I checked some email and then decided to come over and drop something in this real quick like. I also have a little experiment to run and I need you to bear with me. the following paragraph is going to make little or no sense but it will make me smile when I look at the search terms that bring people to stupidtom. The weirder the things I type the funnier the searches. If you came here looking for something in the afore mentioned blurb I apologize but thank you for entertaining me.

And now stupidtom’s funny search phrase generator:

Shaved peanut insertion plow bestiality ears dirty feet marshmallow boat oar pillow biter banana split dry cleaning bag asphyxiation cutting emo Elmo adult diaper play dough underpants Cribs pimp shrubs vomit urine scat blender pubic hair cheese basketball fish water toilet dvd cracker bling towel fart plastic private parts erectile yellow candle crud pencil mullet tattoo Quisp beer redhead snake dry shave whipped neighbor gargoyle.

That’s enough for now. I’ll save the best combinations and post them later.

click down memory lane

03/22/2007

stupidtom None , 1 Comment

I’m in the middle of some file archeology and I came across that banner logo that Steve did for me a few years ago. He borrowed the look that I desired and added my beloved umlauts above the u in stupid. I can’t really explain my love of the umlaut any more than my fascination with lawn jockeys. it is what it is. I can tell you that every time I say it or write it I smile. And if I wanted a tougher male child I could have name him Umlaut but that would have required some amazing slight of hand at the hospital and a helmet when the birth certificate showed up. But, as usual, I digress…

The reason I am mining through this laptop and backing up the essentials is I think it might be heading down a troubled road. On our travels laptom was showing signs of age and danger. He got so warm that when I set him on my legs he was immediately flung on to another part of the bed while I checked for burns under my shorts. That was my second clue. The first was his inability to hold an Internet connection. I even went out and bought him a present to help in this area but it has led to only minor improvements. What I need is a big pile of money with which to procure me some Mac’s but that’s not on it’s way anytime soon.

So back to the front. The logo also made me smile because it was from a time when I first figured out how to change my banner image. I wish there was a place I could go and look back at some of my old stuff… those dots by the way represented my thinking because I remember reading somewhere…

SWEET!

I love stuff like this.

I even found some crap that I don’t have in the archives.

I wish you guys could see all of the graphics on some of those pages because I cranked out some interesting stuff back then.

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