As quickly as the house came in to our lives its exit was more abrupt. I’m not sure if I explained this or not and I am typing on the pad right now so I don’t want to click out and look at the actual site. I will sum up. We were trying to buy a house on short sale from a distant friend who is in a spot of trouble. An offer was made with the clear stipulation that there was no negotiation the number was what we would pay due to the amount of work and money required for us to move in. We didn’t just pluck the figure out of thin air either. A list of what we would need to do before we moved in to make it habitable was drawn up and costs were assigned. After we turned it in, the Realtor said she would need a few days because she was getting her own independent appraisal (bullshit guess in this current market) of the property to make sure that it was worth submitting to the bank. So I repeated myself which I hate to do when I’m speaking clearly and the other party acknowledges auditory reception and understanding of my message by letting everyone know that this was what we are willing to pay.

I should also explain the bank thing. The person with whom we are negotiating gets NO money from the sale. Its all bank. And the only harm that could come from our offer would be submittal and rejection that could lead to eviction. The eviction process in Illinois is down to an efficient fourteen months during which time she could still try to save things with the short sale process but I’m not the one in the pickle so I cant really fault her style. And she in turn cant fault my own. We got an email yesterday with a counter offer fifteen thousand dollars higher than my drop dead rock solid offer. I resisted the urge to replay our conversations or ask if the end game was to eek out another seventy-five hundred dollars for the bank after the back and forth. I thanked them for letting us know, wished them luck, and withdrew our original offer.

If things go the way I think they will I will be sitting front row at the foreclosure auction with my little paddle but you never know. Liza is relieved because when she brought the idea of moving to the kids it was unanimously rejected. No matter how much she pitched more space and bigger yard, denied. “We like it here, lets just stay.” Nice. Now I’m telling them that mom wants to move because they leave their shit everywhere and it makes this tiny house feel smaller. Lemons lemonade people.