I am officially removing the first rule of stupidtom = don’t talk to Tom about stupidtom or I should say that I’m amending it. If I were to write it out in flowery fake legalese it would take too long so I’ll break it down into digestible bites.

  1. Don’t bring this crap up in front of a crowd of people who know nothing about it. It’s embarrassing to explain this adult diary and then I have to say that awful word blog. Just dont do it. If you need a point of clarification or want to tell me something got you, great, wait until we are alone or amongst those in the know.
  2. Never talk about this in front of my children or any of their friends or if any of said same are in possible ear shot. This is mostly for them to get a peek at another side of me when they are older so don’t ruin the surprise.
  3. If you want to criticize something I’ve written I would caution you to swallow that thought and just move on. It will not bother me if you never read this again in fact I will not know but if you want to be a critic prepare for an irrational response. Words can hurt and when I feel up against the wall I usually skip the normal levels of escalation and go straight for the deepest cut.
  4. And finally stop telling me how you could do this and just start writing already. I want to read your stuff. I read all the time and knowing the author adds an awesome dimension so please write away. Some of you are funny as hell but you don’t have to be just fire one of these up and begin.

So there you have it. Most out loud in public speaking restrictions are lifted lets just try and follow the rules people. I almost broke down and told Katie before she left for the lake with her friends (easy Doug I said almost) but then thought better of it. I don’t think I will make it through the summer without telling though. Have a blustery day unless you live somewhere warn in which case bite me.