I ended up in a weird Twitter discussion today that might have actually changed my whole stance on tweeting. (except the name which I will never get over. the web and log mash into blog already upsets me and I actually do that.) I personally don’t get it but obviously it has its place because there are somewhere around seven million people who think differently than I. So this dude at work was talking about setting up his twitter account because his new girlfriend told him he should. He had it up and posting from his phone but since starting on Thanksgiving he had only written three things.
I’m not really sure but in the world of 140 character posts this seems like the equivalent of a mute. I should make a disclaimer here because since I reactivated my account more than a year ago I only have 29 total posts and most of those are personal messages to old stupidtom friends but I make no claims at twitter consistency or greatness. I asked this guy why his girlfriend wanted him to set up his account and he told me it was for him to follow her and then start posting some of his own. He let me look at some of her posts and they were very generic status updates. Mostly letting her friends know how much more fun she was having than they were.
I asked him what he was supposed to be writing and he didn’t know. He was using it as a glorified text message commenting a couple of times on his ladies posts about getting ready to go out by saying he couldn’t wait to see her. By the way I asked and they are having sex but not as frequently as he would like and I think he feels that ass kissing like that could actually help the situation. I was young once and offered to help him post some stuff worth reading.
The first post was designed to peak the curiosity of his followers. (girlfriend, a couple of her friends, and one of his buddies that was hip to the small bird noise) I had him type in “Christmas shopping at Coach Store” then to let her know he wasn’t dead but staying out of direct trouble I had him type in “Can’t be ugly and work here.” He was a little nervous about that one but I explained that these are supposed to be observational reports and even though we were at the office this post would be designed to develop interest with his audience.
We posted some more about his imaginary trip around the mall and he had no idea that by naming all of these stores his girlfriend would be on the lookout for gifts from these fine establishments. One of my favorite posts was from a jewelry store where I told him to end it with “too soon.” I love that he wasn’t fully getting what I was doing and he was just happy to have someone helping him ghost write some nonsense. I actually had a solid half hour of fun Tweeting all be it with someone else’s account. I have more thoughts on this but its late and I’ll try and include an update from the dude I was helping.