i can help

For those who did not read yesterday our hero (me) was helping his fellow man discover the joys of Twitter and tweeting. When I ran in to the kid I was helping he told me that his girlfriend was pissed that he lied on his tweets. I explained to him that no solid relationship is based on pure truth and that he shouldn’t let a little bump in the road slow down his new hobby.

His girlfriend actually told him that I might not be giving him the best advice. Ah to be young and impressionable. So I asked him to see what he had been up to online since we last looked. There was some really inane shite about getting gas and eating dinner. He even typed a riveting line about talking to his girl. When I asked him if she told him to write that he took too long to answer.

While I was talking to him I began tweeting in his name. I tweeted that he had a three hour erection and was wondering if he really had to call a doctor at the four hour mark. I told his tweetaudience which was up to twenty by that point that last night when he got gas he drove away without paying. I also let everyone know that he loved his girlfriend. When he figured it out later he was initially pissed but I told him how to delete them.

I think I convinced him to keep the erection tweet because it was funny and then he asked me what my twitter name was. This brought my fun to a screeching halt. I don’t like to mix my online and real lives. I know there is no avoiding it and there has been some inadvertent bleed over but work is a stupidtom no fly zone. I had to shut this thing down for three months once due to work related inquiries by corporate human resources no less. But that is in the past and another employer ago. I like to pretend that I’m writing to a disconnected version of myself. If I start to think about any other audience members it skews what I say. So I lied and told him that it was my last name.

Turns out that someone has that account but doesn’t write in it at all which fits my lie perfectly. I just hope he doesn’t start sending direct messages to them thinking its me. I really could care less to tell you the truth I just hope he lets me hold his phone again soon. I want him to ask his followers what the little comb in the RID kit is for.

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