the hell, sorry about this one

Along with my recent work troubles of late I find myself in a minor crisis of faith. Odd for a man that took fifteen years of marriage to decide to become Catholic but its my involvement with the behind the scenes inner workings that have me taking a deep peek at my faith. That paired with my churches new found need to advertise Nationally. I don’t want to get in to a big discussion of faith points or how stupid and mildly offensive I find the TV spots I’m just telling you where I am personally right now.

Some of the things I see are so petty it makes me nuts. Church is supposed to be better than that no matter what you believe. I don’t know for sure but I’d bet that its a universal truth of organized religion. Once you get people involved interpreting and enforcing the rules and running the business of worship it gets mucked up. Most folks are built with a need to feel and do better than others in all aspects of their lives. I’m drifting into a deeper end of the pool than I am comfortable with right now so you hopefully get my drift.

A couple of books I have read lately are also making me think. I am leaning toward a more internalized version of faith. The light is within you, chose the light. Basically try as hard as you can to be the best possible person. The problem I am having is the Agree with our version of History or we’ll kill you message that’s floating throughout time. Pair that up with Follow OUR rules or its off to Hell and I just end up pissed.

I’m most angry with anyone who dares presume to know for a fact what is going to happen to me once I die. I’m not afraid of death so quit trying to make me. I need to stop now. It’s really late and I have to get up with Katie. This post was brought to you by the good people at lack of sleep. I might have to put a warning at the front of this weird piece.

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