sitting in a bar watching TV

…with the other travel idiots. We are all just pretending to be interacting with other people because we don’t want to just sit in our pathetic rooms alone waiting for the next day of same to roll around the clock. I don’t really want to talk to anyone but some of the more seasoned among us are persistent. So I do what entertains me and I begin to lie.

For a while I am a condom distributor who is having a record breaking sales year due to the current economic conditions. It turns out that as folks want more cheap at home adult entertainment they don’t want the economic uncertainties that come with a potential unwanted pregnancy. As I told one of my compadres at the bar. “If I could make a condom out of booze I’d be a rich man.”

Later I became a down on his luck gazebo salesman because it just felt right. I had just started with a new company and they were trying to develop the business as an addition to their other product lines when the economy went to hell. I was talking with a couple of plastic bag salesmen who were in town to pitch a number of local businesses on a higher quality bag.

They said their hook was a bullshit claim that their product contained more recycled materials than their competition even though they all buy their stuff from the same place. Good to know. For some reason I told them my name was Bill but most people just called me Sparky. I had a roommate in College that had it as one of his nicknames on accounta he lit himself on fire with an electric blanket.

I borrowed the whole story as my own for no reason and these guys loved it. I just came back to the room because my two new best friends wanted me to head out to the strip joint with them. The fun ended at that point as I flashed to some shopping bags containing a small percentage of chopped stupidtom.

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