Happy birthday to my lovely bride and I am out of town like an asshat wearing a douche bag disguise. Can’t put in to words how much I love this job right now but enough about that and on to something that really pissed me off today.

There is little better than getting a hysterical phone call from your seventeen year old daughter thinking she is in an accident and instantly praying that she isn’t hurt. Then when you figure out that everyone is physically OK but her friend who is riding in the car has to talk to you as your own child is crying too hard. What’s all the hubbub you might be asking at this point because I was as well… Oh nothing, just her coach not knowing how to do his job so he decided to wind her up a bit.

I left a meeting to take that little gem of a call and had to go back in but not before calming everything and everyone down save myself. Then when the evenings torture was over I got back to the room and fired up the poison pen. I asked our eldest not to tell her mother until I could partly to stop them from cry-feeding on each other and partly because as I said before it is Liza’s birthday. OK truth be told it was mostly so I could launch an email missile without any input from my living conscience.

So I write the letter in my normal maybe you should just do us all a favor and kill yourself style but the email addresses I have for this coach and his boss (one of my former High School football coaches I might add) are wrong so my better half has a chance to stop me or at least slow me down. She must have been pretty pissed herself because she gave me the correct emails with nothing more than “that was a little harsh.”

Might as well have called me a pussy. I took that as green light to email napalm the girls track team staff and here I sit still steaming because the projectiles are in flight. I’ll let you know if anything develops but usually my emails take a day to digest, discuss, and plan a clear course of action so don’t expect anything tomorrow. I need to go watch some hoarders now to make myself feel better.

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