peace

Peace is what I seek. I think its what most people are after whether they know it or not. Its the feeling that everything is right in your world and the things that aren’t don’t really matter. I know a lot of very religious folks but none of them strike me as particularly peaceful. In fact sometimes church has the ability to ramp up my own anxiety way past healthy. I think some of the eastern religions do things a little better than my stuff by getting people to focus on themselves rather than someone else’s adventures and teachings.

This little touch on peace is not brought to you by the good people at “church” but by the never-ending quest for things that I and most of the people around me are caught up in. I think in some ways our consumer society is based on the good feeling one gets from acquiring. By the way I am as guilty as anyone on this count no matter how much I can justify every purchase to myself in the name of need. I am great at it. I am a master at bullshitting myself about things.

And so it goes. As the stress of three houses all of which need repair presses in on me I see a beautiful simplicity in my father-in-laws giving up. It is certainly cheaper and a lot less hassle that is until stuff starts falling down around you. And that brings me back to the peace thing. Its not something I can solve just by scribbling it down in here but this is where I’m headed. I have talked about boiling my life down to a duffle bag and that probably isn’t feasible when and where we currently live but the thought gives me a sense of peace.

So I am heading myself toward fewer things or fewer unimportant things and hopefully I can spread some of that around my family. The other piece of peace (a better writer would have hunted up another word) is incorrectly described as a lack of caring. I’m not yet sure how to articulate this thought but it is not giving a shit about things that don’t matter. This ones going to take some noodleing but I am making a concerted effort to let more roll off my back. This is directly opposed to my current method of taking everything as a direct attack and responding accordingly. Sometimes with inappropriate force.

Example: Why do I care if someone I don’t like talks crap about me or mine? Our mutual dislike should trigger peacefultom to treat that person as a friend or at the very least someone to respect as they openly dislike me and I them. Now I’m beginning to confuse myself so its time to quit. I need a nap and then get back to all of the imaginary money we need to spend in the next couple of months.

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