Goulash

Tuesday is catch-up day. I was going to shoot for a goulash catsup pun type of thing but the inability to quickly make that work has me blurting out the rough plan and moving on… So today I’m going through my various reminder sources and attempting to remember what I was thinking. The first one is easy. I took a picture but it didn’t turn out. (that’s funny! Like I took the roll of film into Walgreens and they messed up my negative) Anyway, I took the shot as I walked by the sign and I could post a picture of the color white and it would make as much sense. Sorry, all over the road today as I try to bust this out before I go vote. WOW huge build up for almost no payoff, sorry.

There was a sign at my Speedway on Sunday that eloquently read “NO MASK IN STORE PLEASE” Awesome. I never thought how terrifying Halloween must be for someone working at a convenience type store. Every masked customer a potential assailant. I ended up talking to the boys about the sign and told them I would be taking a picture. When it looked like a blur I just walked away. They already wonder about the guy with the chemical liquid habit who laughs at everything. No need add fuel there.

Next up is my great relief that medical condition names are finally being defined by regular people. I was watching a late night commercial and I laughed out loud. I don’t remember the product name but the line went something like this:

“Some women experience abnormal periods. This can be a medical condition known as Heavy Menstrual Bleeding or Heavy Monthly Bleeding. HMB for short.”

Really? I am finally qualified to be a medical writer. When the word menstrual is too technical for the name of a condition we are playing right in my wheelhouse. I need to begin work on my Patient’s Desk Reference before someone beats me to the punch. I don’t think it will take long before doctors get comfortable speaking in layman’s terms only. Then I’ll slowly move them over to sanctioned swearing. “Sir, your heart is almost completely clogged with shit so basically you’re fucked.”

Finally I had two confusing voice notes from Saturday night’s party. I was going to post them but they aren’t funny just puzzling. One says that I am committed to making and wearing my own superhero costume next year. Drunk Noticer Guy will apparently be making his debut Halloween 2011. So now I’m giving myself future assignments via recorded phone messages. And the last one just said

“the emergency breaks work great! driving home not my best decision. this makeup is beginning to burn my eyes. Clowns hate themselves.”

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