stick stick twig

Coming off of a spectacular football Saturday that started at 9:00am with a championship game then moved on to an evening high school playoff matchup I decided to do a little work around the junkyard before the games started today. I was out in the yard and found myself getting madder and madder at my next door neighbor. Now we don’t have the best relationship. He once came over very upset claiming that one of our then two dogs had bitten him over the fence. When I asked for proof because I wanted to call the police and be able to put one of the idiots down he balked. Answering the door with a sledge hammer covered in wall dust probably knocked some of the fight out of him but he was scrappy enough to yell at Liza earlier that day and we discussed that as well.

He has a blind beagle that he says they rescued and the poor thing barks and howls because every noise in the world around it is a potential threat. I say nothing but every once in a while it can get to me. He once bitched that one of my bushes was growing through his fence so I cut the thing within an inch of the earth. He was very upset because that was his privacy screen form me looking at him on his deck every time I got in and out of my car. Sorry, don’t complain next time.

The latest skirmish in our up until now passive aggressive long term confrontation is the appearance of twigs all along the fence line. Weird how his tree sheds its dead branches along the fence into my yard. Rather than immediately point this out I’m going to borrow my friends lopper and attractively cut any of the offending branches that have grown into my airspace. When he comes out to inquire as to what I am doing to his trees I will explain that the dead branch count has become unmanageable and my only recourse was aerial deforestation. This way, I will explain, if any more stray twigs end up in my yard I will know that its YOU putting them there.

Depending on how that whole thing goes it will determine the escalation of events. I can go from ignoring the whole thing with the promise of no more stick migration to full on screw with mode. First off I might steal and paraphrase a line from Adam Corolla and let this idiot know that he didn’t really “rescue” the blind beagle. That would imply that he raced into a burning building and saved the things life rather than just showing up at a shelter and agreeing to take the blind one probably at a discount. There might have been some story about no one wanting it and time running out but have you really saved it or prolonged its tortured life?

This will be something for him to think about once I bring it up. I might need to look into some form of meditation if I let a couple dozen twigs take me to figure out how to shut that dog up or I will territory. Maybe this whole work thing is affecting me more that I thought.

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