a Christmas Pisser

Dear retail workers of America, OK that was broad stroke and I could take the next couple minutes narrowing it down in some cute literary type way but I am on-the-chip right now and in no mood. This one goes out to a nameless store employee who had the stones to make me feel like I was bothering him with my apparently stupid question. Let me pull a Columbo and start with the crime. Just after the afore mentioned down talking stupid feeling I let loose the following barrage;

(FYI in the way of stage direction this was clench teeth whisper shouted. think about it and you’ll understand.)

“Look you little too cool to work here cocksucker if we lived somewhere the laws weren’t so well defined I’d be pulling you out of here by your awesome long hair so we could have a discussion about manners and common courtesy. Then we would take a drive to your house because I’m sure you still live at home where I would beat your dad up for his complete failure to raise a decent human being. And before you try to say a word you can fuck off there is no fixing this. Have a great day.”

I went on to make my purchases from another young man who was more than willing to answer all of my questions. I even purchased the scammy extended warranty on one of the items and told my new friend that he could thank the idiot over there (pointing) for the sale and I told him my story.

My original thought with this post was a long diatribe about figuring out how to be happy where you work or getting the hell out but forget it. Some people are past the point of retraining and as I stare down the barrel of taking yet another job I will probably not like I can only be happy that there are so many effing idiots out in the workforce. It just makes me that much more employable. (that last phrase just clanked in my head but tough shit.)

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