I was going to post yesterday but I received a disturbing phone call that forced me to curl up into a protective ball and get my head right. Work is afoot at Castle Stupidtom so things are a bit topsy tervy anyway and I think my mood swing went unnoticed or at least that’s what I’m telling myself. This keeping a straight face for the family is getting tougher by the day. I think I need some black horn rimmed glasses to use as a walking into the house disguise ala Superman. Once the glasses are on no more thinking about the horrors of my day. I believe that is called Mild Mannered. Anyway, without getting into litigious specifics I was asked to get some things done this week and by asked I mean I can do them or I quit. Big pile of awesome that is.
So allow me to sum up my day. Three kill packets delivered and three sets of company property recovered. I got a promotion that comes with a fancy title, business cards, more responsibility, and the loss of a company gas card. No more money because we might not have enough to get through the week but don’t tell anyone. (This would assume that Helen Keller works for my company and she has been on Holiday for the last two months so she really has no clue.) After delivering the repossessed stuff and being pulled into the conference for my battlefield promotion I was instructed to make ready an hour presentation for perspective buyers. Oh, and I will be giving this priceless speech for the next three consecutive days and sorry about the gas card thing but your going to have to drive all over Chicagoland peddling this bullshit.
I WANT to be fired but I NEED the company to go under to make the ridiculous non-compete I signed go away so this puts me in a precarious position. I’ll let you know tomorrow how day one of the gauntlet went but for now I must get back to buffing this empty piece of nothing. I’m not sure exactly what I’m paying for at the moment but I’m sure I deserve it and it must have been fun.