up at six thirty on my birthday

I am awake early this New Year’s Eve morning for the confusing reason that I cant seem to shut my brain off lately. I’ve been having trouble sleeping for about the last month and its probably work related but now that I’ve once again secured employment that should calm down. right? Nope. I have the nagging feeling that I should be doing more to secure my future and these disposable jobs are not the secret to that success. There is an evil part of me that wants to own something of my own. (town, down, clown, brown, enough with the own already…) Anyway, that’s the thought I can’t seem to shake.

I have this long boring diatribe about the types of things I’m thinking about doing but even in my head I sound like a ten year old describing the limitless possibilities that stretch out before them. I really need to whittle that list down a bit. And then there’s another part of me that would love to take a crack at writing a book. I’ve sketched out a few but have never taken a decent run and I think I really need to put some thought in that direction. College starts next year for the first of my three, this accursed house finds a new way to piss me off every day, and I just started another job that I’m going to muddle through. One might think that this is one of those milestone birthdays but the big 46 is really not that important. I’m just standing at a crossroads with no lights, signs, or crosswalk and a couple of one way alleys at an EL station (woops, Elevated train, not everyone is from here) next to a bus stop in a school zone. Nothing that doesn’t happen to everyone its just taking me a while to process all this right now.

I tried to go back to sleep because its raining and I do love to snore during precipitation but it was not to be. These flipping cats will not leave me alone and one of them is extra creepy right now. She tried to claw her own eye out because the Feline Herpes, yup I just wrote the word herpes after feline, is super itchy. I immediately called her a cheap slut but the vet said that it had been in her body since birth so her mother was the dirty whore. I’m kidding of course because my wife rescues these dam things and I should count myself lucky that they aren’t all strung out on crack with a taste for human flesh. Anyway, the cat with the ocular manifesting (OK that didn’t sound right in my uneducated head but I’m leaving it claiming my birthday grammatical rights) STD is just one more brick on the pile at this point.

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