Bone Cracker Witch Doctor

I went to the Chiropractor with Liza tonight for her consultation and spent the whole time fighting back the urge to lash out. I wanted to call bullshit on the entire thing but my wife suffers from severe migraines and if this mumbo jumbo can make them go away then I need to do whatever I can to help. Even if it means biting my tongue on misaligned bones and “ideal” angles drawn on x-rays with no reference lines or visible standards. In this regard I’m banking on the power of my wife’s mind to heal her with the help of these fakers. If you are a Doctor of Chiropractic save you nonsensical arguments because I don’t believe in you. You might as well monogram Tooth Fairy on your scrub top for all I care. And speaking of me I just remembered that I am a Doctor of Motivation according to the Universal Life Church so before you fire off some non-medical nonsense in defense of your profession prepare to be motivated in the other direction by Dr. Stupidtom.

And as I currently find myself in a self induced career funk I am seriously thinking about opening a Witch Doctor practice in this area. I’ll pump you full of bullshit for half the price and shake some chicken bones around your body while blowing smoke from a cigar your way. We’ll start with three times per week and hopefully in a couple of months we can get it down to one or two maintenance visits a month. Forever. I wonder if getting that bone through your nose hurts?

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