I’ve always known that I’ve had a bit of an addictive personality and I try to act accordingly. When I find myself with a new obsession or catch myself liking something a little too much I do what I can to dial that behavior down. Alcohol and I are dear friends so I limit my exposure to a night or two per week maximum. I’m not one of those folks who can sit down every night and have a beer or two. No need for twelve steps or an intervention it just is what it is. Gambling on sports got away from me in college so now I limit myself to goofy action with friends, squares, pools, fantasy football etc. My biggest foe was chew and while I was deep in there were few waking hours when I didn’t have some form of tobacco in my mouth. You get the picture.
Also don’t take this as some declaration of self discipline either. You cant maintain man mountain status and claim to live a regimented life. I would love to work out but cant seem to wrap my head around exactly when to get that done during my day let alone trying to get motivated. So I’m not standing on a soapbox looking down on anyone I’m just explaining that I can get too committed to certain things.
So it is with that in mind that I scared myself a little this afternoon when I sat down to play a little XBox with the boy for an hour or so and almost eight hours evaporated. This is when the little alarm bells in my head begin to trigger and its time to pull back and think. I already set limits for Max so it looks like Dad needs some as well. This is another piece in the midlife crisis puzzle. I could easily see how someone could flip out, quit work, and piss the entire day away on nothing. Its weird thinking that writing this nonsense is yet another thing that I might take too far. I think I’ve got too much time to think today. I just need to obsess about some things that are better for me as a person.
I’m all geeked up and can’t sleep due to the Bears game tomorrow. Like a little kid waiting for Christmas. Go Bears.