when stupidtoms attack

I couldn’t sleep for shite last night. I don’t have my travel alone legs back under me and I’m not looking to develop that callas any time soon. I woke up to an add for some show about exotic pets attacking and then I drifted back to sleep. I’m not sure what happened but it seemed like every time I woke up that dam commercial was playing. Maybe it was my mind overreacting to the ridiculousness but I was having some crazy dreams. These people get no sympathy from me and I’ll tell you why.

Let’s say that the whole alien abduction thing is real but the anal probe part is just wishful thinking by some. I end up on some other planet as a dangerous exotic pet. Oh, did I mention that these Aliens are made of perfectly cooked steak and fresh baked bread? They wear bacon for clothes and butter to smell good. Now I’ll play the part as long as I have to in order to survive and hopefully make it back to earth. But no matter how much they love me or how well they treat me…

Lets just say that at some point I’m going to go after their steak filled fresh bread and butter bacony goodness and when I do it won’t be pretty. The only mistake the pets on our world make is there are always other humans around. That face ripping chimp had to deal with the annoying friend shrieking into the phone. The Vegas genetically manipulated tiger that had enough of Roy should have waited until Siegfried and all of the other meat sticks were out of the immediate area and then he could have enjoyed a complete serving of fruit. (sorry, that one just slipped out and I apologize)

The best are those who trust their pets so much that they let them sleep in their bed at night. Just like me snuggled up next to the bacon and steak sandwich aliens at night. Maybe the beer bottle children could come in and snuggle with us when they get nice and cold?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s