Stone crusher

I adore busting balls. I wish I knew how to turn this site into a place where my friends and I could talk shot for the world to see. I have some hilarious pals (crap I hate that word but I was in a friend repeating pinch) and they are all quite skilled in the fun making arts. I have a feeling that the publish part would change the game a bit however because most of our back and forth is mean spirited and about someone.

I love a good clean shot even when I’m on the receiving end and I always follow the rule of not saying anything I wouldn’t repeat to someone’s face but everyone I know isn’t just like me and that’s a good thing. (Deep mental breath after that horrendous run-on sentence) Sometimes though the cuts get so deep that bone fragments show up and those would give the better people in my crowd pause. This comes after a nice round with some old work friends got ugly once the fat and bald bounced off of me I red back with neighborhood kids complaining about his need to constantly sniff their bike seats.

Anyway I’m deep in the heart of Illinois at a restaurant and if I ever need a chair to get me around because I am a fatass I’m not screwing around with these lightweight medical looking things. I need the good people at Lazyboy to begin working on my newest concept The Laziest Boy. This will be a full sized recliner mounted on a motorized base with little tank treads and armrest mounted joysticks for steering.

It should also have an adjustable table attachment because I can’t count on public establishments be-ing able to accommodate my lard wagon. I wonder if my food will taste different with high flow oxygen constantly whistling through my nostrils? Lots to ponder as I watch life go by waiting for someone to text with.

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