Here in lies the rub

My writing is a mixed bag and I say this because I reread some of the stuff I already posted while I was checking to see if I set the mobile part of this thing up correctly. (proof in the long winded pudding) I am a technically questionable writer which shouldn’t bother me but it does. To the point that it almost got so deep in my head that I couldn’t write today. Not frozen in fear couldn’t more like over-thinking couldn’t. I’m not really sure what my brain was trying to accomplish but I finally had to shut it down and just start typing.

Today I began with the title and it refers to my reluctance about letting people know I’m back at this crap. There are reasons for and against everyone I tell. The main against is that it feels like HEY LOOK AT ME! LOOK WHAT I’M DOING AGAIN! and that makes me want to slap myself right in the face. But there are those people who I like knowing that they are reading this stuff. Mostly people I love and care about that get my twisted sense of being. The rub comes from some of the six degrees of separation running through my life.

I have a number of quirks that you will soon discover if you read this for very long. One of the biggest is my problem with suffering fools. Most people can just put an idiot who misbehaves on ignore. Not this guy. Add that trouble to my love of well crafted spoken assault and you get a recipe for social disaster. This isn’t really a ME problem as I feel there are far too many people in my life as it stands but my family has feelings and such plus they like living here so I need to take that into consideration.

I am to the point in my life where I don’t want to hang out with anyone who is not a positive in my life. There is a plus column and a minus column. I am paid to endure and overcome negative influences so in my private life I just find it exhausting. A tired Tom is a salty Tom and that’s where things get dicey.

Another individual I wont be formally informing is my lovely bride. She is by nature a private person and my exact opposite. This means that she is no stranger to an apology after I’ve taken a verbal blowtorch to a friends husband for instance. Or sometimes my lack of fear regarding that which I believe to be true pairs up with my size voice and other factors to create a thing best described as sour. So I get the fact that she’s not the biggest fan of a web page where I write whatever comes to mind. Understood and another reason for the limited re-release.

It will eventually get to someone I don’t want reading it and that is where the title of this post comes from but I will work to delay that as long as I can. The alternative is to write it just to myself but where is the fun in that? Plus my face would look kind of funny after punching myself every-time I remembered I was writing a diary.

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