not bad

There were no real incidents to report from last evenings spousal 30th reunion. I found some people that I could hang with plus the beer and food were included with the tickets. It’s a freak show no  matter the reunion and this one did not disappoint. I found I really love seeing guys approaching 50 who look like they’ve never put a suit on before. I wanted to take a dude into the other room and fix his tie because I think it was an actual slipknot.

Were this one of my friends it would have been awesome with the bulk of the tie jutting out to the right all night but watching him try to fit in to conversations just made it sad. I ended up talking to him and let him know that he was overdressed. He was one of 2 guys at the whole thing wearing a tie and wasn’t it uncomfortable? I don’t know if he took it off or not because the food came out and I was starving.

I only screwed with one a-hole who kept reintroducing himself giving a resume of his high school accomplishments. On the third round I claimed to be on a couple teams with him and acted upset when he didn’t remember me. “I was a lot thinner back then and had a full head of hair.” He scurried away the first chance he got.

There was a girl annoying everyone that I wanted a shot at but it must have showed on my face because during a brief check in I got the WHATEVER YOU ARE THINKING DON’T look from the boss. It was her night so I withdrew. There was nervous drinking all around me so I knew this gathering had potential for excellence but we left before anything got really great. One dress up ass flash during the group photo was the wacky highlight.

As I walked up to the wife for the first of three prearranged we’ve gotta go check-ins one of her classmates was saying “you didn’t look this good back then did you?” and something about offering to help her find a job. After I walked up it only took 3 seconds of no reaction eye contact for him to look away and get uncomfortable. I also might have intentionally talked a little louder than I needed to about his lady-face as we walked away but that was to be expected.

And speaking of lady-face, there were a couple people at this thing that had some no so subtle work done. Maybe it’s the age were at but holy crap. One of the women needs to go back to her doctor and have things loosened one notch. She walked around all night in a constant state of smooth surprise. The only other thing that made me laugh was vanity related as well. I was sitting with a group of people where I knew exactly one of them eating  “heavy hors d’oeuvres.”

The woman next to me said she needed an extra plate to sample everything but she didn’t want to seem like a pig. I asked if she wanted on of my 7 because I was heading back to the prime rib guy for another tiny sandwich. She said no thank you as if I thought she would take one of my dirty plates. No need to correct someone who doesn’t understand my funny better to just creep her out and move on.

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