Facebook its not you its me

I might have to break up with Facebook for good. What was once a pleasant place for me to sit back and quietly pass judgement on the lives of others has now become unusable. Now I’m not on it a ton but when I am the thing is completely choked out with advertising. Every third or fourth post is trying to sell me something and the ones that aren’t are re-posted videos from sites that pay to promote their content. My stupid friends re-post the re-posts and the whole experience is a shite storm.

I need a button that when clicked will just show me pictures from peoples lives. That’s what I’m there for and its getting harder and harder to see. If it could include a political and religious filter it would be perfect but I know I’m just dreaming. In fact my perfect site would just include one random picture from all of my friends without caption or words of any kind. I’ll fill in the details myself thank you very much. And as long as I’m wishing for never going to happen filters I would like one to take out kids. I am a fan of children in general but don’t really care about the offspring of old friends. I want to see THEM and what they are up to…

I realize that most of the kids have moved on to something else but I find those things tiresome as well. Twitter is too much and unless your on it 24/7 you miss a ton of good stuff. It’s like a news crawl that never repeats and always updating. That too is becoming a pack of annoying ads so every couple days when I check it ends up turning into an exercise in scrolling followed by exasperated giving up.

Then there is that Snap Chat thing that I had installed for five whole days. I wanted to watch someone’s “story” that was written about in an article and it added a bunch of my contacts as friends. What comes naturally to the people who use it annoyed the crap out of me. Videos or pictures with a timer you have to press and hold before they disappear. (way to explain one of the most popular social networks in an overly simplistic dismissive sentence grumpy old man) I thought it was a way for folks to exchange genitalia shots without them getting plastered all over the internet. I consider myself corrected.

Anyway, back to Book Face. This used to be my spying duck blind. I put up just enough pictures to reel in a potential friend from the past so I could then find out what their life was like. I know full well that the things posted are just the press kit versions of their lives but I’ve become pretty adept at reading between the lines. The problem is that those lines are now pages apart. Probably my fault because I am not in a constant state of Facebook so they need to make up for my lost eyeball time but enough is enough.

I’m going to challenge myself to stay away for a month. This is on my own by the way because my wife can’t help but turn the iPad my way when there is something she has to show me. Deleting app now.

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