got the phunk

I’m not sure what it is about these long travel bouts but they put me in a very strange place. Mentally speaking I am no stranger to strange but the mood swings are like an amusement car ride. I find myself in a perpetual state of trying to get things done but never feeling satisfied that I have done said same. Pair those good feelings with this first snow of the year and you get some palpable agitation amongst the snakes in my head. You know those days where everything you look at turns into a steaming pile? Dead nuts in the middle of one.

Anyway this post is not to bleat about my perceived troubles but to reinforce the mental punch in the face I gave myself about an hour ago. Everything I was complaining about didn’t really matter. There are people with real problems and my own are so small its almost like I’m looking for trouble. I was whining about things like… not being able to pay the bills. NOT BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE THE MONEY TO DO SO BUT THE BANK IS UPDATING ITS WEBSITE. not being able to watch football today BECAUSE MY MIDDLE CHILD ACTUALLY WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH ME. I am an idiot.

The only thing I am in the midst of is turning myself into a human sphincter. I bitch about travel for a job I truly love and then when I’m finally home I find things to complain about here. HOLY SHITSTICKS I need a mental makeover. Time to stop myself from turning into a song cliche.

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