crank

I am on the road teaching and creating content this week followed by the company holiday party. My lovely bride has joined me for the party a day early and it is really jamming up my travel flow. When I check in to a room I have a specific routine and any deviation sets of OCD alarms.  First, I don’t use maid service because I don’t want people digging through my stuff. No real rationale other than if I were a maid I would consider spying on guests a perk of my job. And maidtom would look through EVERYTHING. The no housekeeping deal can’t be done with the hurricane I now have as a roommate. When she arrives anywhere there is a blast radius. It’s a known fact and I just have to live with it.

She also uses an alarming number of towels for such a small person. This means that I have to allow people to mill around my space while I’m away. I don’t like it. Next up is the placement of my stuff. I use the bag holder that usually lives in the closet to keep my bag out in the room. The wheels of luggage are staggering to think about and I don’t want them ever on my bed. If there is a couch or chair I could set it on those because I never do. I have yet to see a maid cart with a steam cleaner so I’m pretty sure evidence of all questionable behavior just builds up on fabric covered furniture.

I’m heading down a germ road and I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I have a friend who walks in to a hotel room and immediately puts the remote in a baggie from his supply. He makes the solid case that it is the dirtiest thing in the room. This guy also brings a sleeping bag and his own pillow so I doubt I will ever reach his level but I am a logic player. Anyway, I let this get off track, I was talking about my wife disturbing the force of my travel…

This morning at 4:00am she was up and talking. I thought it was the dogs that caused this at home but they are nowhere near this state. I felt around and tried to silence her with the hand over mouth hint to no avail. Holy crap she is shot out of a cannon in the morning and I usually don’t have to speak to another human for at least an hour. Needless to say I am on tilt today. Luckily I am just a guy on the side for most of this section. In fact I’m typing this right now as one of my friends delivers some content that I’ve listened to in some form or another at least 50 times. The number I came up with while I was killing time calculating it was 53 but I rounded down as my mind isn’t as sharp as I would like.

This is the home stretch before lunch so my hope is that some food might reset things. Cranky is not the best way to do my job.

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