If life and its moods are a roller coaster then I am at the bottom of a hill where it feels like your nuts are up in your throat. If you are reading this and have no nuts swap out uterus or that feeling when you just jumped or fell a long way. This state of being is brought to me by the good people at Work Pressure and their fine subsidiary company Fear of Failure. Both are fully in effect (screw you if I used the wrong one) as I am in the final stages of building a 3 day class that I have been working on for more than a year.
There is other work to do along with the content creation and I really need to stop treating my regular duties like someone was torturing me. The pressure on this one is a pisser because I identified the need for this class, sketched it out, pitched it, built it, and am now getting ready to deliver it in a month. The work now consists of thinking through each segment and figuring out how I will teach each one. Then I need to document that for myself and the two other times I will deliver it in 2015.
Most of this pressure comes from inside of my own skull but that doesn’t make it any less real. The participants are going to pay a bunch of money for this experience and they deserve my best shot. Everyone keeps telling me that it will be great but somehow that just ramps up the angst. Random calls from people legitimately looking for my help are making me twitch as I feel myself falling further and further behind. Then why are you writing this dumbass?
Great question. I have five to ten minutes to kill as my set appointment needed a little time to gather up all of the people I’m supposed to be talking to and once the phone rings I AM ON. So this relatively mindless exercise is perfect for murdering some time and not trying to get back into something that needs full attention only to be ripped away to something else that needs complete mental presence. (take a deep mental breath after that run-on sentence) There is also a very small part of me that hopes this will calm the storm a bit…
And then a text from the boy shows up needing his weekly forgotten object dropped off at school. It’s not that far away but they have a bunch of new security nonsense that triples the time it takes. If it wasn’t raining I would throw the bag in a bush and just tell him where to look. But then I flash to someone seeing it, reporting the incident, them thinking its something its not, school being evacuated, etc. And who has time to be detained and interrogated this close to the holidays?