confuse d

I can’t sleep for shit and its starting to creep in to my existence. I was out returning some internet purchases at lunch which means I was taking the boxes and throwing them in to the UPS store when I appropriately stopped for a red light. I thought I was day dreaming but it might have transitioned to an eyes open sleep situation because I was startled by the horn behind me. I was thinking about the things I need to get done and it knocked me the eff out.

I know this is a byproduct of overtired but I now think a little stress reaction was at work as well. This is an unsettling development as the pressure isn’t due to let up until the end of January. Me thinks it might be time to reevaluate some things in the land of stupidtom. I have a two and a half day push ahead of me next week then I am going to try and forget work over the holiday. Wish me luck.

The Christmas spending is flipping my shit a bit but I think the worst has passed. Crap, did you just feel that tragic jinx pass through me like a ghost of xmas past? The only way to solve my love hate relationship with the holidays would be… enough. I’m a f*cking idiot. This is just how things are going to be until I can get right with me. (I think that might be the second time I’ve rhymed today and it scares me just a bit. Maybe I’m developing some pathetic but awesome mental disorder that has me blurt out random rhymes tourette style. If this comes true someone name it after me.) I really need to just suck it up and by it I mean all of this wishy washy woe is me nonsense.

In other news my beard has reached a ludicrous state that can only be described in pictures. Unfortunately my phone is in jail as I am attempting to be less available and connected in an effort to get more done. So far it seems to be working. I have shut notifications down for everything but a ring for phone calls and a noise for texts. Other than those two things that are necessary for work I’m trying to keep away from the not so little screen. I will take pictures of my facial topiary tomorrow as I fear it might be time to trim.

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