Super Saturday bah humbug. If you raced out today to complete your holiday shopping you are an idiot. Traffic was ridiculous and any normal errand I wanted to run took twice as long. I didn’t even go watch the boy wrestle because the tournament was an hour away and I would have had to drive by two major shopping center pinch points. Good thing too as he forgot his shoes and could not compete. I was all set to light him on fire via text when he let me know that he witnessed his friend get his arm broken in half.

“Just kind of hanging there Dad. The wrong way.”

It gave me a shiver from an hour away and my child was still a little shaken later when I picked him up from school. His timing was perfect protection against the verbal onslaught that was in the chamber. I’m still a little raw over the whole thing but I’m trying to hold it in. Seriously?! Forgot your shoes?! This sport has 2 required pieces of equipment; shoes and headgear. You forgot a full fifty percent of your total responsibility.

Enough talk about my knucklehead for now. I joined this new cheap gym down the street. They had a grand opening special $100 paid up front for a years membership or $200 for the premium year. Since my company reimburses half of any dues and seeing as I’ve never taken advantage of this before I decided to treat myself to the better option. Plus I get to bring a guest every visit so I can drag one of the kids along if I get bored.

The premium thing also comes with some water massage thing that I am highly skeptical about and unlimited tanning. I have never been a tanning booth person but the evil little voice in the back of my head is thinking there might be some funny lurking there… Sometimes I need saving from myself.

Anyway I got a light starter workout plan from a friend. Nothing big just something to get me moving a bit more. They have machines there and he has me a new group every day. So this morning I decided to follow his walking and basic no equipment plan. Yikes. I am so far out of shape that I might actually be forming a yet undiscovered configuration.

I laughed at the things he suggested until I did them. Air squats sound easy until you are pushing your fat ass up for the tenth time. Burpees suck just as hard as I remember from High School and this diabolical rest your arms and pull your legs up thing he ad me seek out was just mean spirited. I like the nice safe circuit machines where he has me picking a relatively low weight to get used to the motions before I start looking for a challenge.

This whole thing is a challenge. Yesterday I felt like our older dog on the treadmill. My left foot would just randomly drag. I laughed the third time it happened when I flashed to my tripping and flying off the back like a staged YouTube video. I figure if I can go every day for a month then I might set this as a habit. Or at the very least it won’t have been a complete waste of money.

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