official record

Not even awake an hour and someone was already attempting to kill my Christmas buzz. I had to drop the jalopy off for some long overdue recalls and I took it to a dealer that I usually avoid like the plague. You see I love the car shopping experience, always have, and now with the invention of smart phones its a lot more fun. Before you had to do a bunch of pesky research and leg work but I digress. This dealership and I crossed paths in the 90’s while I was helping my friend Tim negotiate a vehicle. They went old school on us and threw the keys to his car (they had them to assess the value of the trade) on the roof and wouldn’t get them down until we grabbed a desk phone to call 911.

I loved it but it did set a bit of a tone regarding the overall business. So I dropped the van off at ten after seven this morning and the guy was going over the paperwork with me when he said “we’re supposed to inspect the outside for scratches and dents but at ninety thousand miles you probably aren’t worried about that anymore am I right?” No in fact he was wrong and I let him know. He tried telling me something about the overall value so I went on to tell him that he might be on the hook for any imperfection I find after today’s little visit.

They have a service manager that floats around like a Vegas pit boss and he came over to find out what the trouble was… I let the employee struggle and bullshit a little bit before I told him what happened. The service guy actually tried to say that I was mistaken. I might have elevated my tone just a bit so that other customers could hear and explained that my mental faculties are in perfect working order. And now this clown who had insulted me is trying to call me a liar to my face in an effort to stay out of trouble now that his boss wandered up. Things got bumpy enough that whatever higher level manager has to work the early shift was called and he asked me the magic question.

What can I do to make this right?

I make it a practice to be ready for this at all times no matter where I am so I immediately responded that he could trade me even up for a brand new model of the same van. Anything short of that was just going to further agitate me. We ended up coming to an understanding that not only would my warranty work be done but the tires would be rotated and oil changed for my trouble. I don’t really care about that I just wanted to deal a little pain to the dick that talked down to me about my shitty old van. Plus I had some time to kill while I waited for my ride. Mission accomplished.

Who knows what I’m going to pick up later this afternoon but life is a gamble and at least this was fun. If the wheels all come off on my way home I will need my real life friends to print this and give it to my wife as evidence. Our standard sue everyone policy will be easier if she knows the whole story.

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