I got nothing

I actually have more than the title advertises, maybe too much going on in my brain right now. My company office is closed tomorrow so I have my birthday completely off. I am waiting for a west coast call that is late so I figured I would kill some time with this. Tomorrow will probably be a no post day for completely selfish reasons. Family stuff during the day and New Year slash Birthday party tomorrow night. The party means a potential honeydo list the length of my arm but that’s OK because I get to see my friends later.

I am telegraphing my mental illness but there is some building anxiety over a class I have to teach for the first time in 2 short weeks. And I can safely say that I am flipping the f*ck out. The class is going to be great as I have delivered a beta version and run it past some of the smartest people I know but… This is the first thing that I have ever suggested, designed, built, wrote, practiced and delivered by my self. I am feeling just a pinch of pressure at this point.

The fact that there is a wait list for the class doesn’t take away from the feeling. Next week I am traveling to work on some content that is months away. I hope I can get out of my own head long enough to do that work some justice. Maybe it will give me a break from the over-think-a-thon I’m in the midst of. I find myself questioning all of the work I’ve done to this point and trying to think of creative changes at this late date and its making me a bit sick.

I need to call a thinking time out and hopefully the brain cell massacre planned for tomorrow night will help that cause. Oddly enough writing about it just made me feel a little better and a little worse all at the same time. I’m going to call this one a wash. good night.

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