clear your own snow

I drove in some terrible shit yesterday but this is the part of the country where I live so that is what one does. (Holy crap writing I and One not only seems douchey but wrong…) The problem I have is with the folks that act like this is the first time they have experienced weather. I passed more than one person driving 40 miles per hour with their flashers on like an 18 wheeler. I don’t think they understand that the big trucks do that when they have incline and or traction issues not because they are afraid of frozen water.

My next favorite folks are those in magic four wheel drive vehicles who think that they have outsmarted the laws of physics. I counted eight of them in the ditch during my seven hour drive. One who hauled past me on an icy road and I just knew I would see him later. Yup, sixty thousand dollars worth of newer luxury SUV being towed out by a questionable wrecker of formidable size. A wise farmer once told me “you get stuck and your in 4 wheel drive there’s nowhere else to go but you will bury the thing to the axles trying to get out.”

I made it home in one piece not to happy about the extra couple of hours but none the worse for wear. Gale force winds had drifted the driveway over so I decided to shovel a bit. I would have blown the snow but I was out of gas and I figured I could use the exercise. Shoveling driveway a not-so-funny neighbor drove by, rolled down his window, and made some crack about a heart attack. I mumbled a courtesy chuckle as to not engage in any more conversation than necessary but it got me thinkin.

What is the difference between shoveling and the gym? No body walks past my fat ass when I’m on the treadmill and cautions me about impending death. Just because I pay for the privilege of stressing out the evil organ that will one day betray me doesn’t make one thing better than the other. And if your going to site something about cold weather and heart stoppage you have pinned my bullshit detector before you opened your mouth. I have therefor adopted a new official stupidtom policy when it comes to folks making cracks about shoveling: Swear like an upset tourettes patient while getting back to work.

The offender should drive or walk away post haste and I don’e really know what that means.

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