I woke up at 3:45am coughing like a mutha effa. It felt like I had swallowed a Lego in my sleep. If you pressed me I would have sworn that it was the two brick which, if in throat, would be more than mildly irritating. I was kind of yell coughing to try and get it out so I was going that into my pillow. I’m not real sure if I was releasing pressure in time to give myself the proper back-flow of life giving air. Almost instantly a headache set in but it felt like I had made some real progress.

So I stumbled my way to the bathroom in the dark for the final stages of productive coughing. In the final throws I went so hard as to see stars but I blamed some of that on the recent lack of oxygen. Business handled it was time to quickly wash up and grab the final remaining hours of sleep. I turned the light on, took care of some other unrelated business, and glanced in the mirror while washing my hands.

Holy H.R. Puff N Stuff! WTF is going on in my eye?! (full disclosure I took this later as I do not carry my phone constantly. also taking a picture of your eye is deceptively difficult and yes I realize that I should have cropped out all of that bathroom ceiling. bite me)


Now I was up and flipping the flock out. My adrenaline was pumping as I walked through all of the eye diseases and other maladies that were now manifesting in my right soul window. No exaggeration this scared the the living s*hit out of me and I’m not totally sure that I had any living excrement at all to that point. It took me twenty minutes of self examination followed by an hour of internet to calm down.

At some point I did remember the hard coughing and seeing of stars but well beyond the freak out midpoint. I am an normally a bit dim but 4:00am me is an amazing idiot.

Apparently there are folks who deal with these burst blood vessels on a regular basis thus proving once again that I am not made of the toughest stuff available. Now I have been teaching and interacting with humans all day looking like a movie villain. If they sold pirate patches in this hotel I would be a proud owner.

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