I am sick and salty today (both literally and figuratively explanation to follow) Holy crap I have having anything wrong with me. Not that anyone LOVES being ill. Except maybe some demented attention whores who cant figure out that faking Tourettes will get you noticed AND provide some entertainment for the rest of us. (Dear Tourettes Syndrome sufferers, I apologize. I have no doubt that it would completely suck to have  inappropriate words bubble up and get blurted out whenever it kicks in. In fact I know that you are all better people than I because with your disability someone would have killed me long ago. And I would have deserved it. Words can and do hurt. But you do have to admit your sh*t can really be funny sometimes…)  (AND it turns out that today is random ALL CAPS day. Please celebrate accordingly)

I don’t really know where I was going with this and the parenthetical voices in my head are acting up again. The anti-cold cocktail I have in my system right now is in no way good for brain or motor function.  I am trying some of my wife’s voodoo nonsense along with every -quil known to man. A normal person might take a day off and rest but I don’t have that luxury this week. Not whining just the facts. I did the stupid neti pot so many times yesterday that I didn’t need to salt any of my food and my snot now melts ice. If you don’t know what that is just look up the name or device for pouring salt water through your sinus cavity.

One quick public service announcement: chewing the Nyquil liquid caps DOES NOT taste like the shot with the same name nor does it make them act with any more haste. I’m popping the things like Betty Ford in need of a mouthwash run. Check that, might be working, I’m channeling 80’s substance abuse humor out of nowhere…

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