I need to begin by stating a fact. I am a lightning rod for people who want to talk about their superior choice in smartphone. Maybe it’s the way I hold it or it could be my size coupled with the size of my chosen device? I’m not sure but I want it to stop. I’m sitting here in the jury duty waiting room and the a-hole next to me said “Why do you like THAT phone?” My response after a full minute and a half of staring silence didn’t make him look away was “I don’t really like it, I’m just stupid. Let’s leave it at that.” Luckily he finally got my overall state and went back to his texting.

This wasn’t my only one in the last week either. I had another guy incorrectly tell me that Android made Apple change the text bubble color. Not one to let bullsh*t stand I informed him that is was in fact a marketing thing on Apple’s end and the internet was ripe with proof. He claimed to have read a lawsuit that forced Apple to change the bubble to “Android Green” and I let him know that he was misinformed and shouldn’t repeat nonsense as it made him look a bit dim. iMessage is in a calm blue, anything else is in an annoying green. Simple as that.

I actually think this is smart on Apple’s part. Make folks look down on other platforms. It’s the American way and I’m all for it. For it to affect me personally I would have to care what others think. I like the phone I’ve got for a bunch of reasons that are mine alone. I think I should start carrying around a picture of the minivan I drive to give random strangers some idea of my don’t give a f*ck. From now on any questions about my phone will be met with silence and a blank stare. In my head I will immediately begin to catalog all of the terrible things that happened to the person talking to me that has lead them to this sad point in their lives.

A place where a small hunk of metal plastic and glass defines them as a person.

Anyway, We are all stuck in here while we wait on 2 more trials to be decided. The first one struck a deal greatly reducing my odds of being chosen to sit. Between that and my soon to be stated gift for instantly knowing guilt or innocence based on a 2 second first impression I think I’ll be headed home today. “I just KNOW your honor.”

There is a dude at one of the tables who considers himself extremely important. He has brought his entire office with him. If he wasn’t so fidgety I would take a picture for you but I think he is on something and this is not the place to get in a dust-up with a tweaker. He has a laptop, a tablet, his phone, a legal pad, some files, assorted writing instruments, a stapler, and his rolling bag that I don’t think is completely empty just yet. I don’t know if this is his dodge attempt but it looked like a lot of work to bring and unpack. Plus he is now plugging his giant noise canceling headphones into the iPad and this room is really quiet.

I am enjoying the alone not talking time save that minor phone talk annoyance. I had an older gentleman try to strike up a friendship when I first walked in but I shut that down right away. I think he might be a professional jurist. He has a bag filled with snacks and supplies. I on the other hand brought this phone and my jacket. I almost left my jury summons in the car but luckily I remembered to bring it. The ladies who run this place have been beaten down and tempered into a hardened material over the years and they take no mess.

I’m tired of thumb typing now and the judge just came in to talk to us. Hopefully good news.

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