I have arrived once again to start yet another road trip. Or, as I’m beginning to call them “petcations”. There is something so relaxing about just having to interact with humans and humans alone. Don’t get me wrong, I love animals, just not the ones that live in my house. I think the last pets I truly enjoyed were the fish I had in college. Two Tiger Oscars both bigger than my hand and they would eat from said same. Very relaxing to watch them calmly swim around the tank waiting for me to drop in some food. Relaxing until the day I came home from class and they had just finished a battle royal that cost them both their lives. No more fish for me after that.

The little lizard that my roommate ate on a bet was pretty awesome as well. When he dropped it into his mouth the thing grabbed on to his tongue for dear life with all four claws. It’s head was far enough down Matt’s throat to make him gag and the tail was sticking out of his mouth moving all over the place. He was retching and choking everyone watching was laughing and I distinctly remember my own tears from laughing so hard. This story is longer than I’ve got time for but it ended with a call to poison control that I would give a finger to have recorded.

I need to get out and find a bar to watch the Blackhawks. They are playing blocks away from me but my broke ass cant afford a scalped ticket. I will leave you with justification for my no sitting on hotel couches policy.

Don’t know what’s going on there and don’t really care. Nothing good happens on a hotel couch.


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