I received an email comment this week from a reader and I’ll have to admit that it got under my skin. First, it caught me a little off guard as there are roughly 20 people stopping by here per day and I told ten of them I was posting again so the odds are good that I might know this person. Anyway, the comment was that my writing didn’t seem to be as good as it used to be and I should write longer and more funny things…
My response was as follows:
Dear anonymous reader, thank you for you thoughts and please fuck off. While I understand your opinion I do not comprehend the motive behind its delivery. Did you have a bad day and the only way it could get better would be to make someone else’s a little worse? It worked for a brief moment until I realized that you have a lot missing from your life if the lack of funny on these posts bothers you. So again I would invite you to fuck off. Turn the channel. Don’t come back. This writing is for me, not you, and now I would prefer that you never come back. P.S. Please don’t hurt yourself while fucking off as I would hate for your existence to get any worse than it already is. P.P.S. Where do you write? I would love to read your stuff. You seem like a good time.
I wrote a follow up explaining what I meant by fucking off but it bounced back as undeliverable. I had some not so funny things in it describing the best times of day to punch yourself in the face so it didn’t seem weird and writing demotivational phrases on your bathroom mirror to get better at making others miserable. Once it came back I felt a little odd. I am not a fan of those who only get joy from bringing misery to others but what if this idiot just genuinely wanted me to be more funny? I should address that as well.
This is a blog about nothing and yes that is stolen from Seinfeld. I am a frustrated creative type that can’t shut off my brain so roughly once a day I try to write something. anything. It’s usually whatever is simmering on the top of my skull at the moment and that doesn’t necessarily mean funny. In point of fact (crap that didn’t sound right in my head for some reason. Maybe it’s the “in”. Oh well) I rarely sit down to write humor. I just write. My general take on life is EVERYTHING is funny so that probably shows up more often than not but I don’t sit down to crack people up.
This is a snapshot of me for me and anyone stopping by should read it as such. If you are looking for a joke of the day I am not your guy. If you want to read what an average idiot does with his everyday reality then this might be somewhere you want to stop by now and again.