I was deep inside of my own brain yesterday and having trouble pulling myself out. I can best describe it as a mild life crisis. No I did not mead to type mid back there the descriptor was meant to mean not real severe. I wont bore you with the details but I will sum up by saying my current financial state has me questioning every aspect of my like. How did I end up here? What could I have done differently? That kind of worthless self pity.

If you have no money worries then consider yourself extremely lucky. I understand that cash is a tidal concept. Sometimes its up other times its down. Right now I am in one of those down tides that only comes before a tsunami. The water has receded to a point where I’m looking at sunken ships and garbage. And like all down times straws keep showing up to try and break this camels back. (okay that seems really awkward after I wrote it but stick with me here I’m still a little jammed up)

Case in point the boy and his now missing school iPad. Why a child that loses track of his shoes five minutes after entering this palatial dwelling is forced to carry around $500 worth of high school property is beyond me. Nothing mentally wrong with the kid other than he is a fifteen year old ball of hormones. I took the damage insurance because that was a given but like an idiot I thought it covered lost or stolen as well. Nope.

So it looks like I will be buying an iPad for the school and it won’t be on my Worst Buy card with six months no interest financing. Super. And he will work it off but that is no consolation to my current lack of financial holdings. I would just like to reach a point where these little bumps didn’t feel like a shiv to the gut.

The other thing that had/has me twisted up is my current gig. I love everything about it save the pay. And in the companies defense the compensation is more than adequate my life has just spun out of financial control. I also tried staying home this month to see if I could help with some of the other things coming apart but it didn’t. When I don’t travel there is no extra cash coming in so this was a nice self inflicted bullet to the foot.

And I have done something drastically wrong where my family is concerned. When I alert everyone that things are getting tight I swear they all turn into Helen Keller. I feel like the only ostrich who figured out that maybe the head in the sand thing isn’t the best way to deal with potential problems. But then who is the biggest idiot? The one who is constantly on the lookout for trouble or the ones who just figure everything will work out…

Craptastic. I have now done what I set out not to do. I wrote down the same detritus that prevented me from posting yesterday. Maybe this post will work like Drain-O and finally flush this crap out of my head into the sewer. We shall see. I need to get back to doing things outside during this brief Winter intermission.

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