Flying blows a donkey. If that doesn’t conjure up the same drunken soul scarring mental images from a college spring break then you need to get out and live a little. Also don’t look down your nose at third world animal entertainment like cock fighting until you’ve been swept up by the screaming gambling spectacle yourself. I couldn’t even see the event but apparently I picked the winner with nothing more than Sesame Street level Spanish. There are few things better than a scary man cramming a big wad of sweaty Monopoly money into your hands but I digress.
I was still waiting for my mechanical troubles to be fixed at midnight when they told us that we weren’t taking off.
This was the line still at 12:30 that only took me another hour to complete. Into the hotel by 2:00 with a 5:30am alarm. I was just told to “sit tight” as we are waiting for a part. If I was any tighter I would solidify. I’m typing this in an effort to keep myself from ending up on the news. Or at least YouTube coming unglued. I understand it’s not the gate agents fault but I am quickly reaching a state of Someone Will Pay.
The TSA line was ridiculous as well and a dude who was about to miss his flight flipped out. He got his wish and was pulled to the head of the line but then they took a hard right through a frosted security door. This is helping me keep calm as well. The proud men and women keeping our skies safe are experiencing some budget issues and I would bet that lube is considered an unnecessary comfort or luxury item.