Enough already

Anyone else tired of the presidential race already? Between the horseshit ads and the coverage I am electioned out. Another recent social media development is watching “friends” announce that they are unfollowing each other due to their stupid political opinions. I would normally fan the flames of crazy but this isn’t even fun. Each side is so tied to a candidate and or party that any other opinion has to come from an idiot.

I am not on a side. I would vote for the candidate from the Batshit Crazy Party. At least then I could be truly entertained by every word coming out of the candidates mouth. (Keep saying candidate captain candidate) These other two parties have no sense of humor.

The old house phone number rings to my cell phone and I answer as much as I can because I really enjoy speaking with scripted individuals. Right now it’s all politics so my current questions revolve around what each potential president is going to do about drug side effects.

Opioid enhanced constipation, anal leakage, four hour erections, suicidal thoughts or actions, the ammo list is endless and I know the caller doesn’t have a scripted response. I start talking like the fist full of pills I take every day is like spinning a big wheel of side effects. Every day is a new adventure. Unending boners and pants full of feces so it’s no wonder I’m thinking about offing myself. WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOUR CANDIDATE GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS PROBLEM?

The weak hang up while the strong try and gently steer me toward voting for their person. But I grow tired of this game. I want to get back to annoying cruise lines and cable providers.

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