First things first I am going to stop apologizing for missing posts. I am not being paid for this crap and it is supposed to be something I like doing so if I miss a day or two, tough. That was more for me the writer than you the consumer. That calendar or the right side for those of you reading in a browser is my Tell-Tale Heart. Always thumping in the back of my head, guilt manifest in sound. Enough. I will post when I post. Those guilty feelings are what put this thing in danger. I have too much spinning out of control in my life right now and if this turned into another pain in my ass it would have to go. This paragraph is me playing defense.

Yesterday. Have you ever had one of those days where every bit of communication that came your way sucked? That was my Tuesday. I will not bore you with the details partially because I don’t want to watch a rerun in my brain but mostly due to the fact that they are in fact boring. I will instead give you a recap of the people or things I communicated with:

  • Insurance Agent
  • Insurance Company
  • Police
  • Bank
  • Credit Card Company
  • Airline
  • Printer Manufacturer
  • Landscapers
  • Passport Administration
  • Post Office
  • Contractor
  • The City building department
  • Internet Provider

Its kind of like a list of clues for you to figure out what happened. Don’t try. Whatever you are thinking double it then multiply by bird shit in your eye and you will be in the neighborhood. When my phone finally died after being stuck in two hours of traffic while heading to my middle child’s birthday dinner I couldn’t care less. In fact I didn’t bother charging the thing until this morning. It was freeing.

Today is a new day and I have made the choice to have a better one. I am limiting myself to a single bad interaction and I used that up with my insurance company followup call. Minor fender bender in the household that happened on private property reported almost three weeks later but the person who allegedly witnessed the bump. My child did the right thing by providing everything the calling officer requested but she questioned the accident. Our insurer made the mistake of talking down to me on the phone this morning.

“Look, NAME REDACTED, I’m sure you have an extremely high level position at COMPANY ALSO REDACTED but there is no reason for you to treat me like an idiot. I have paid you tens of thousands of dollars over the years to protect my family and you are not listening. I just want your company to do its job and make sure this is legit. don’t interrupt me again… I am sure that a big shot like yourself has more important things to do than worry about a few thousand of the company dollars and my rates going up but you are in real danger of creating a much larger claim involving yourself”

When asked on the recorded line what I meant by that I told him to use his vast investigatory knowledge to figure it out.

And so I have most likely ended up on yet another company’s watch list. I wonder if there will come a day when I can look up all of the confidential inner office memos about me and compile them into a book. A man can dream.




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