Invention idea: This one is beyond me so I am throwing it out into the much smarter universe… There has to be a way to get rid of physical mail. Okay, I realize that I just made a completely idiotic statement like “when will someone figure out how to get rid of traffic?” but I am serious. I think the time of mail has past. There are services out there who will receive all of your mail then scan it and email it to you but those are expensive and seem like an unnecessary step. What someone needs to invent is a secure email address that is assigned by the post office (if they do in fact still need to exist) where senders would pay a tiny amount to guarantee secure delivery. While they are at it the same postal rules would apply. Send me some spam to that address then you are risking some mail fraud not just annoying me.

I realize that packages are still a thing but it looks like Amazon is making a run at monopolizing that space. And I’m not talking about stopping presents from magically appearing at my door. Its just the cranky misfits that deliver my mail seem like I am bothering them. In fact, the world in general appears to be in the way of my local postal workforce and their ultimate happiness. I thanked the mail dude today and he shot me a glance that looked like I mentioned something offensive. Sorry you cranky cold sore I’m not the one who sold you on the joys of government work so you can cram your bad attitude back down your blowhole. (said the guy in my head completely unconcerned about his important mail being thrown away every day)

I think someone better get on this quick because I have yet to meet a young go-getter in the postal service. I don’t think they have a very deep bench and if there is a waiting list I would bet that it syncs up rather nicely with all other governmental waiting registries. Postman or woman is not the glamour career it once was. In fact they could do themselves a big favor by making everyone reapply and interview with a panel of customers. Anyone not making it past the good mood test would be immediately replaced by a wounded veteran. Accommodations could be made and I would build a ramp to my mailbox if I knew the person delivering my bills appreciated the job and had already done more than I will ever do.

I’ll stop ranting now because I have a haystack of junk mail to sort through. A task made all the sweeter by the crabhole that delivered it.


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