fo shame

Big doins around the castle this weekend and I tried to post about some of it but the gods of content were against me. So I will try to sum up as best I can. Saturday night through a convergence of concerts and all female birthday celebrations found me with a rare weekend night of solitude. So I was busting out some things off of the big checklist when things got a little weird.

I was out front trying to plant some grass seed in the weed rings that used to be parkway trees destroyed by some Asian insect when a random dude pulled up in front of my neighbors house and got out. Now I should give some back story to the few who don’t know. Next door neighbor is very old. Great Lady but had her husband die twentyish years ago and it flipped a switch in her. Time stopped and the crazy crept in. So much so that she hasn’t been able to part with his old broken down car or non-functioning fishing boat since. In fact by the looks of her single plastic grocery bag of garbage once a week for the 14 years we’ve lived here implied she didn’t part with much else.

She would never let anyone in the house which mostly confirmed the hoarding suspicions since I have shoveled her driveway and helped with other things during that entire time. Anyway, flash forward to a couple months ago when she was hospitalized. Now she is in a nursing home and her niece is in charge of the estate. First to go was the jalopy. It had been in one place for so long that when I went to inspect the driveway there were divots under each tire placement. I would have taken a picture but the next day a dumpster showed up and I knew it was going to get interesting.

So by Saturday no one had showed and the big bin remained empty but I correctly figured it wouldn’t be long. So I walked over to the dude now pulling a garbage bag from his trunk and asked if I could help him. He tried to give me a NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS scowl which triggered instant protective redass from yours truly.

He said something like “nothing I need to worry about” to which I replied by taking a picture of his license plate. He asked what the hell I thought I was doing so I explained that if he in fact tossed that bag into the dumpster I was going to retrieve it and dump it out all over the driveway and street. Then I would call the police and explain how some random idiot thought this was a public trash can and missed while tossing his bag of shame.

“What the hell is a bag of shame?” he demanded so I explained that another reason I would be dumping it out would be to see what he couldn’t throw away at his own house. I’m curious like that. He put the bag back in his trunk and drove away without another word. And now I am on the lookout for his car in the neighborhood. I do so love having an active adversary.

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