thanksnothanks

I received a nice email over the holiday weekend from someone who I think just discovered me. In fact I asked how they found out about this mess but I have yet to hear back and the second I sent it I turned into a giant douche nozzle. Anyway, they read back a little ways and very kindly told me that I was “pretty funny sometimes.” I thanked them in my reply email but they also brought up an interesting point to consider.

They suggested that I get more in to the Twitter thinking that I attempt to boil some of my funnier thoughts down into the 144 character jail that is that platform. This is not a sideways slam in any way as they were telling me that I had a great chance of writing something that could go viral. I like an ego boost as much as the next guy so I decided to look up the most viral tweets. That was a mistake.

Since I am not a Kardashian, a celebrity, or famous in any way, it appears I have no shot. Not that I want one by the way but writing about yourself almost every day does indicate the presence of self-image. And since the roller-coaster I’ve been riding the last few days finally pulled to a stop I was looking for a little distraction. Then I fell down a twitterhole and came out the other side worse for the experience.

As I perused my “feed” (at least they are honest about cramming their crap down your gullet by not calling it a Home Page or Timeline) I realized that it is almost all ads or click bait. Shit, truth be told my own posts are lies designed to get you over here. It is a little magic that WordPress does for me. Something like the title and includes a picture if I do. Works on roughly two point three people a day. Or I should say the same two point three per day. That is more than four percent of my 49 followers so I could actually hear the twitterverse laughing at my brief dream of a viral tweet.

So thank you kind sir or madam (your email address was awesomely incognito and you didn’t sign your note so you might be from this new non-communicative generation but then again you did take the time to email and read back far enough to find the address mentioned… crap sidetracked in a side bar) but I am going to have to pass on a shift to Twitter. But I appreciated the brief distraction.

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