Okay I was obviously a little tuned up the last time I posted. We were done earlier than expected and I would have changed flights except for the fact that I got bumped to the front of the bus. If you change flights its back into GEN POP and that wasn’t going to happen. That much time to kill plus some drinks after we finished divided by the club lounge multiplied by the free drinks on the plane equaled potential trouble.

The pictures I took were in the midst of a self imposed time out as my lizard brain reminded me that coherence was a boarding requirement. There is really something quite dangerous about day drinking for me. Something that simple should not make me so happy. Anyhow, everything went relatively well and the flight was uneventful. That is until we landed.

I follow a strict set of passenger courtesy rules that seem like common sense to me but everyone is not on that page. One of the rules is that you wait for the row in front of you to clear out before you head for the exit. There are exceptions. 1. if you ask the last person if they are ready to get up and they let you know they are waiting for assistance, finishing their book, or really don’t care. It is THEIR call. 2. If you have a tiny window to make a connecting flight in which case you should enlist the assistance of the flying wait staff and they will usually make an announcement that there are people cutting things close and could the rest of us hold on for a second.

I have spoken about the entitled a-holes that fly in 1st before so I wont revisit a club I only get to rarely enjoy by twist of fate or cashed in miles. I was in the front row window. Tons of reasons why I like this seat not the least of which is I’m right behind the pilots. Most people think that the front means you will be the first to crash into whatever is coming but I know better. Those are human beings in charge and self preservation is a powerful thing so if there is a way to pull up at the last second and shear off the back half of the plane off instead of crushing the entire can then I want to be with them.

Anyway, another courtesy move is to stay in your seat if you are not on the isle. It is only one person wide so if the people on either side both stand its already overcrowded. They don’t need anyone else trying to “just grab my bag…” So I waited for the other three people in my row to gather their stuff and go before standing. A woman pushed past me and grunted with disgust as her carry on caught my knee. I stared at her waiting for an apology that would never come as I unfolded to my full height. I must have cut off her significant other because while I was fishing my bag from the overhead compartment she came storming back and yelled COME ON to someone behind me.

Remember I have more than a little buzz by this point so I’m not as sharp as usual and I pause for a second thinking I was holding up someone who had a connection to catch. I grabbed my bag and stepped back in to the row to let him pass which earned me nothing from him and more audible disgust from her. As I left the plane I began to realize it was midnight and there was no way they had a connection to make so I told myself they needed to get somewhere and their ride was probably out there already waiting.

When I finally made it to baggage claim these two asshats were there waiting. Right at the mouth of the carousel. As I walked up the woman turned and glared at me. Knowing we had at least ten more minutes to kill I spoke up. “Did you lose the prize for first a-hole to baggage claim?” She was silent for a good thirty seconds before launching into some nonsense about ME being rude. I explained that her own manners blew a donkey (a phrase that made the poor dude stuck with her smirk out of her field of vision. Remember class play to your whole audience whenever possible) and she should really examine her inability to Take Turns. A skill that most children learn long before manners are mastered.

Husboyfriend wasn’t going to say a word so the dust settled quickly as my bag popped out from behind the dirty curtain first. There was another chance for fun at the prearranged ride waiting place but my cab got there quickly and the fight was out of that annoying little dog. I smiled as we pulled away and flipped them off big as you please. All in all a great travel experience.

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