teachr

Who tries to cram two entire weeks worth of work into a single day? This asshole that’s who. Vegas did not lend itself to productivity and tomorrow begins a week long family reunion so any work next week will be done on the sly or as a break from the action. And by action I don’t mean we are doing so much that there wont be time to breathe but there will be a pile of relatives.I think like six or seven under six years old (I can barely keep track of the three I was directly involved with so no offence intended to any of my cousins or their offspring. I am a dolt, not uncaring.) so that’s going to make for more commotion than is normal.

The current dog count is at four I think so that is another pile of excitement but I am looking forward to every second. It has been a long time since so many of us have been in the same section of the country. I’m sure there will be some stuff to write about as well. At the very least our collective concentration of crazy should yield some interesting results.

And speaking of crazy (just when you thought he had gone away… All Hail the Segue King!) my current YouTube obsession is crazy neighbor videos. The reason I have watched so many is my search for a matching pair. What I mean by that is no one rises to the level of their neighbor and it is disappointing. The poster is usually the tech savvy video taper of the aforementioned crazy. I keep waiting for one of them to do the right thing and mess with the person while the electronic tattletale is turned off and then activate it once the fun starts.

Instead the amateur movie producer is usually collecting useless evidence that will do nothing buy annoy the authorities. A camera should be used to increase the anxiety of your opponent. Then purposely turned off while you lose your own shit. Its a simple formula but something to consider. I might need to hold a class of some kind or at the very least rent myself out as a disconnected third party. Hire me and strange random crap will start happening to your neighborenemy.

We will have non further contact until you fly a predetermined signal flag to let me know that we’ve won. What kind of crazy you might ask… How about a three in the morning simultaneous deguttering of the home. A little planning, some sport-fishing line and treble hooks, will make your neighbors think a Cessna has crashed into their house. The lines will be cut as soon as the tin hits the street so they can appreciate my sculpture as well and aid in my getaway. Just spit-balling here.

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