I am a contrarian by nature. If you want me to bristle at a suggestion start with the words “you have to” My mind shuts down and I immediately think no, I don’t have to do anything. While it is in my nature I realize I need to operate in a polite society so I mostly keep that to myself. Unless pressed. Like today when I impatiently waited for my slacker mailman to place my stuff in my hands he wanted to give me a lesson in Amazon ordering. He is as enthralling as dryer lint so I wont quote his drowsy dialect but the point of his instructions were to tell me to order a certain way from the company so he would not have to deliver so many packages.

And it all began with You HAVE to… When it became apparent that he wanted my agreement before he would hand over the bills and junkmail I had enough.

“Dude you work for something that I thought was going completely out of business before Amazon started shipping with you. I would look at these packages as job savers not asspain. If it sucks figure something else out to do. Don’t complain to me because your gig changed… I’d bet the telegraph people got shitty near the end as well.”

So I’m guessing that some of my correspondence are going to take quite a bit longer to reach me if they get here at all. I have been thinking about trying to go all paperless so now seems as good a time as any.

But back to the contrarian thing. I don’t wear it as a badge like some. This morning I had a call with someone who had been through some of my training. During certain exercises and at breaks I play music and my playlist could give you stylistic and generational whiplash. My taste is all over the road including some of today’s popular hits. I love catching crap for liking something that is currently “pop” from a person who has frozen their musical appreciation to one time period of their existence.

And when I gently remind them that the songs they admire were at one time popular you get really intelligent answers about musicianship and songwriting. My response is always something like

“oh, you mean Benny Goodman and His Orchestra Sing Sing Sing type music or are you talking older school than that? How far back in time are we going Grandpa? Tell me again about walking to school and eating butter sandwiches.”

It never really go on much after that as a rule and today was no exception. I love busting balls when the other person thinks they have secured firm high ground. The reason I bring this up and how these two weird trains of thought relate is the guy this morning started his reply with “You’ll have to agree…”

The fuck I do.

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